Sunday, August 14, 2011

Beer Cans Can Fly

Today is Wednesday July 20th, 2011. Location, Destin, FL. I apologize for not posting this sooner. I returned from vacation, got involved with work, and ran a little behind on updating the blog.

I am not afraid to admit that I am a little immature. Okay, by most accounts I am a really immature. I think the same now as I did when I was seventeen years old. Remember that. Please take this in to account as you read the following.

Warning. What you are about to read is classified information, it is a patent pending process, and is protected by International Law.

Today the conditions were perfect. We had the ingredients and ideal weather conditions. Below is a list of the items and conditions in our favor. We had a kite, 550 yards of 50 pound test fishing line, the beach, a steady 15 mph steady breeze from the southwest, some beer, plenty of time, and 3 willing participants.

Some immature guy in our group had an idea. The group consisted of my future son-in-law, my almost legal son, and yours truly. The idea was this. “What if we attempted to fly a kite with empty beer cans attached”. After some thoughtful consideration, a theory was offered, a plan was hatched, and the steps to conduct the test were outlined. It was agreed that the steps were not only to be documented in writing but had to be confirmed with visual evidence in order to confirm the process. Below is the order and visual evidence of the events.

1. Drink and empty some beer cans.




2. Fly the kite.




3. Attach the empty cans to the kite.





4. Say goodbye to the cans








5. Watch as the cans soar.









6. Wonder in amazement.



On this day beer cans soared to an altitude of approximately 1,300 feet above sea level. To our amazement the process worked. It worked beyond our expectations. The myth was confirmed. Beer cans can fly. The altitude was so high that the 8th and 9th beer cans attached to the kite were invisible without the use of a telescope. Those suckers were up there.

During the process our grouped amazed the beach goers and even startled the local seagull population. Beach goers made comments like, “What is that in air”, “ Is that a UFO?”, It seems to be floating”. Numerous seagulls buzzed the cans hoping for a snack. The most telling comments came from a couple of Tulane University female volleyball players that happened by. It was simple, they said, “We like your kite”. The process was validated, the girls liked our kite, and our theory was confirmed.

We celebrated. Like all good celebrations we began to reflect. We discussed the process, the variables, and the results. We quickly came to realize that the outcome and results were occurring in real time. The one factor and the most difficult to predict in the process was the wind. Little did we know this was about to be a problem.

As soon as the wind died the trouble began. As we discovered, to reach an altitude of 1,300 feet above sea level meant that the kite had to fly over some houses, a condo building, and some power lines.

During the ascent no one seemed to notice. During the descent we noticed. As the wind died and the kite rapidly began to lose altitude panic set in. Beer cans and fishing line were falling from the sky. They hit the roofs of condo buildings, houses, and power lines. The situation was out of control. So we did what all mature people do in this type of situation do. We ran. We ran fast and really far. I later learned that it is really hard to out run the long arm of the law. They have radios and we had legs. Below is a picture of my mug shot. I am just kidding.


We survived without incident but did learn some valuable lessons. Our only shot at redemption will have to occur at the beach again next year. I hope you have the time to this summer test the theory. I guess we all must "live and learn".