We recently had family Chinese night. It was great to see the family and catch up on all of their life events. After dinner we embarked on the ancient Chinese tradition of the reading our fortune cookie messages aloud. We added the phrase, “while in bed”, at the beginning and end of each saying. Try it some time, it can spice things up. In our case that alone did not add much humor.
So, I did some research and some creative thinking and came up with a few fortune cookie sayings that you would never see on one of those little pieces of paper. Below are some of my favorites.
1. Help, I am being held prisoner in a Chinese Bakery.
2. You should wear corduroy more often.
3. Oops… Wrong Cookie
4. You are not illiterate.
5. Your dog Sparky, well he is no longer missing.
6. Your hidden talents may not be there at all if you think about it.
7. That was not really chicken.
8. Hard times are behind you, impossible times are ahead.
9. About time I got out of that cookie.
10. Don’t eat any Chinese food today or you will become very sick.
11. An alien of some sort will be appearing to you shortly.
12. Pick another fortune cookie.
13. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
14. Borrow money from a pessimist, he won’t expect repayment.
15. He who laughs last is laughing at you.
Should I be concerned about the last one? Well, I am not. But I hope you are, laughing at me that is.
