My Germany Trip

Recently my company sent me to Europe for some global training and relationship building with my colleagues across the pond. The following is a summary of the first 5 days of my 7 day trip.

Germany Blog Day 1

I finally made it to the Hotel after 15 hours of travel and 30 hours of no sleep. The plane trip was fine, but the 3 hour layover in the Paris airport nearly did me in. The cab ride to the Hotel was the best part of the entire trip. I was shocked to find that they have middle-eastern cab drivers in Germany, just like New York. The Pakistani cab driver spoke English. I realized at this point that it was a good thing I stopped in the Paris airport and got some Euros. Cabs and most other local places in Germany don’t take credit cards. I would have hated to be the cause an international incident.

The local hotel outside Hamburg, Germany near the office did not have my reservation, even though I had a confirmation number. I think they did it on purpose. That along with a small language barrier made for an interesting check in.

I am 6 hours ahead so it is 6:13pm or after midnight in the U. S. as I type. I am going to stay awake for a little while so I can be on a near normal schedule for tomorrow and the rest of the week.


Germany Blog Day 2

I wish I were dead. I just had dinner with my work associate, we will call him Mike. In summary, he is socially awkward, conversationally challenged, and a poor listener. I have to spend a week in Germany with him. I knew things were bad when he pulled out the English to German translation book and attempted to speak a few words. We were in an Italian restaurant in Germany down the road from our Hotel.

Our cute 23 year waitress laughed and struck up a conversation with us in fairly good English. Seizing the opportunity, I promptly ordered the “big boy” draft local beer and settled in for the duration. The food was excellent and the prices were very competitive. We were able to stay in the $30 per person range easily. After downing the first one quickly, I ordered the second “big boy”. Mike looked at me like I had 3 heads in complete disgust. The night went downhill from there.

It was finally time to ask for the check. Mike, in an awkward moment, referred to his pocket travel guide for tipping information. This man is a complete nerd. I immediately recommended the worst case strategy of leaving a 20% tip. The bill was $46, so leave a $10 tip, I suggested. No one, anywhere, would be offended.

Mike haggled over the tip and we left her $7. Turns out that in Germany most restaurants include the tip in the menu price and some people tip if they really like the cute 23 year old waitress. I did, and we left her the extra tip. I was right all along. Tip if you want.




Germany Day 3

Today was the longest day of my life, literally. The sun comes up at 5:00am and doesn’t set until just before 10:00pm. We are so far north it is like being in the land of the midnight sun. The company I was keeping makes it seem that much longer. I spent the day with Mike, Joe (a little man from China), another sales manager from Slovakia, and 2 German training leaders trying to speak English. Due to travel schedules we got in a day early and more of our colleagues from across the globe are on the way for tomorrow. Several of them are from England so I know we will have a lot to talk about.

I have also been wondering about German hygiene. Let me explain. In my hotel room there are no wash cloths. You know the little towels about 1 foot square. Apparently in Germany no one uses them. I checked with Mike and he confirmed the practice. I asked for one from the hotel maid and got a dirty look, in German of course.

Today the time change caught up with me. Getting up at 7:00am over here is like waking up for work at 1:00am. It takes awhile to get used to.



Germany Blog - Day 4

In Germany the people are very green or environmentally conscious. In most cases I like that. The company office is in a small industrial park in the village of Norderstedt, Germany. Norderstedt is about 20 miles north of Hamburgh, Germany – a city of about 3.8 million people. Hamburgh is located on the northern coast of Germany along the North Sea. Now back to the green part. Few people own cars here. Most of our employees live in the village and walk to work or ride the subway from the city and then take the bus to the office. We also could have taken the bus.

Being that we are LEED certified (Green Building Design Certified) in my business group it was decided that we were going to walk to the office this morning. Our hotel is also in the village of Norderstedt about a mile from the office. Ordinarily, I like to walk. Unless it is 45 degrees out with a nice 20 mph breeze in your face. You see, the North Sea never warms up. It is always cold here. Even in the summer it rarely gets above 75 degrees. It is so cold that there is no need for air conditioning, only heating.

I thought I was going to collapse from hypothermia on the walk to the office. I ultimately survived. So, guess what happened at the end of the day. It was decided that we were going to walk back to the Hotel. The good news is that there was no chance of getting sunburned on the walk because the clouds and cold mist had moved in. Even better, there was no chance of breaking a sweat as the wind had shifted and was blowing the mist and 25 mph wind right in our face. In summary, the weather this afternoon was raw. It was raw like a 3 month old babies’ bottom with a raging case of diaper rash. It was really raw. So raw that it hurt to move about.

Guess what we are doing for dinner? We are planning on walking to the bus station for a ride to the subway. The subway will take us to downtown Hamburg where Alan plans on drinking enough to pass out from intoxication and shoot for a ride in an ambulance to a warm bed somewhere. In general, I prefer to do my drinking on an empty stomach. It will be empty as people around here don’t’ eat until around 9:00pm. By that time I should be able to have pounded a few “big boy” beers to quell my appetite.

I have one additional note. There is a “Penny Mart” store in the village across from my Hotel. This is the German version of a dollar store. In case you were wondering, I checked and they don’t sell wash cloths. I have learned that there is no market for them in Germany. There went Plan A as I must have a washcloth. It was time to move on to Plan B. Will a dish rag work as a wash cloth? We will find out as I made the purchase. I will elaborate more on this later.

Germany - Day 5

For this blog I will call it, how do you say, kerosene? In Germenglish that is how it would sound to you. I have been hearing this translated babble all week.

For more proper English, this blog will be titled “kerosene”.

When I was 12 years old and in the Boy Scouts I accidentally drank kerosene. It was in a glass sitting on a picnic table near a lantern. I thought it was water. It was kerosene for the lamp. I WILL NEVER FORGET THE TASTE. Last night I drank Kerosene again except this time it was on purpose.

We had dinner in a Portuguese Restaurant in downtown Hamburgh. I had some sort of fish soup, with a salad and grilled fish. It was much better than it sounds. The Portuguese owner of the restaurant liked us. We bonded in some kind of American to European kind of way. He could not speak English and I do not speak German or Portuguese. It was perfect. Following the meal he wanted to treat us kindly with a complimentary after dinner drink. The man at the table next to us said in broken English that it would help with digestion of our meal. He had offered us a shot of Grappa.

I had heard of Grappa before and new for some reason that it was made from grapes, thus the name Grappa. We obliged the owner and after a few minutes I was ready for the big moment. My first shot of Grappa. Plain and simple. I found out one thing real quick. On the way down that #%&@ burns. It burned all the way down. It burned from the inside out, and then from the outside in. It burned like the Branch Davidians compound in Waco, Texas. (you may have to look that one up). It burned long and hot. Once I righted myself from being doubled over in pain it came to me. It tasted exactly like the kerosene I had drank 34 years ago. I knew I would never forget the taste.

My advice to you is to never drink Grappa. You see Grappa is in fact made from grapes. It is from the part of the grapes that no one else wants. Normal people want the grape juice. They turn that into fine wine. Grappa drinkers want what is left. What is left is the skin, the seeds, the stems, and whatever else is left after the good stuff is squeezed out. This mass is squeezed again and the juice is distilled. That is the stuff that makes finest grappa in the world.

As a world traveler one thing I know for sure is that Grappa tastes like Kerosene and burns like &^$t. No kidding. Oh, and one more thing. It does nothing to aid in digestion either. That lying *%$#@+.